Do I need to wash my hands?

Just an FYI: this is going to be a long, rambly post, with probably no concern to anyone other than myself. I’m trying to work through what it is I’ve been experiencing in-game of late and the resulting future participation I am worried about by putting it to word. Feel free to read if you’re REALLY bored, but don’t expect any great insight, hilarity, or scathing witticisms in this one. It’s more what you read from a teenage boy, laying on his bed as he hurriedly scribbles in his journal (not a diary! diaries are for girls!).

You’ve been warned.

Crushing Will

My will to play my Shadow Warrior that is. I can live with being underpowered, I can live with being the red-headed step-child of the game. I can live being a joke to the opposition. What I can’t live with, is not having a crew of people to play with. My guild leader hasn’t logged on in a week, and for the past two months or so, I can count on one hand when had a full group of players around. Don’t take this as a doom and gloom post about subscription numbers. It’s necessary to understand that my guild has never had more than about 10 to 12 members in the guild at a time. We have been a small, skilled, mean-as-hell strike force. But when people stop logging on, each person is felt more as they represent a larger percentage of the total. I’ve been getting by with playing my DoK a lot more lately, but my SW is really my true love in this game, despite all its flaws, and I hate settling.