Do I need to wash my hands?

Just an FYI: this is going to be a long, rambly post, with probably no concern to anyone other than myself. I’m trying to work through what it is I’ve been experiencing in-game of late and the resulting future participation I am worried about by putting it to word. Feel free to read if you’re REALLY bored, but don’t expect any great insight, hilarity, or scathing witticisms in this one. It’s more what you read from a teenage boy, laying on his bed as he hurriedly scribbles in his journal (not a diary! diaries are for girls!).

You’ve been warned.

I picked up and played on my DoK a bit the other day. Every-time I play, I am surprised at how strong of a class it is. Even at RR51 playing as a Sacrifice/Torture, melee DPS spec, I destroy people. It really does feel a bit like cheating. I enjoy it, in a sense, but afterwards, I walk away feeling a bit dirty and just…wrong. When I go into a scenario, solo-queued, and walk out with 12 deathblows, 2 deaths, and around 150k damage, and 45k healing (probably on myself), I have to log-off.

When I go from playing my Shadow Warrior to my Knight, I  have a noticeable difference in the scale of their power. I play my Knight, and I feel powerful. I run around in thick, heavy armor, carrying a giant sword, and I hit people with it. It doesn’t vaporize the person, but I can overcome most obstacles. I have a lot of tools at my disposal to deal with myriad of situations, but few things are work in such a manner that I am amazed at their effectiveness. Keep in mind, that’s at RR71, with a warlord weapon and a serious helping of good gear.

Yet, the DoK still feels like cheating. I run around and people just get shredded. Sure, I still die, and if I get jumped by a pack of White Lions (oddly prominent on Iron Rock), I’m going to eat it. There is a Slayer or two that I know to pretty much avoid, and maybe one Witch Hunter, but outside of that, I know with near-certainty, that I’m going to win the fight, and am reasonable competent in my ability to win all 1v2’s and some 1v3’s on the outside bet.

So, why don’t I play the DoK more? It’s something I’ve been asking myself a lot lately. Hell, why have I been playing my SW almost primarily all this week? Yes, I got some play time in on my Knight, but my focus has been on my SW. Is it some sudden masochistic streak rising up in me? Punishment I’m inflicting on myself, tantalizing me with the promise of extreme power with the DoK, back there, in reach if I could just bring myself to play it…

I really think it’s the people I play with. The guild I’m in on Gorfang is ridiculously competitive, and they can be relied upon. I don’t want to undersell that second sentence. The people (well, the extreme vast majority of them) I play with, can be relied upon to not only be there when you need them, but to also be proactive in terms of performing their role, and doing it with extreme levels of proficiency. Our DPS are aces at picking targets and burning them down. Our healers know how to best weave their HoTs, their AoE heals, their morales and detaunts. We all have great battlefield awareness and know how to properly mix our builds for survivability and efficiency.

We have a few members in our guild who rerolled to Order when their destro guild on our server disbanded. I remember to talking to one of them about why they came over to us. His response was that he couldn’t find a guild that he could count on and expect to have his back while playing like he used to. He knew that if he came to Order, that they type of guilds who competed on that level were available and playing. It struck me as a bold statement and declaration on the entirety of Gorfang destro at the time.

I’m not saying that my Iron Rock guild isn’t good, they’re great players as a whole, but they are far more casual from what I can tell. I don’t play there much anymore, so maybe my pulse is off, but it seems like there is rarely the drive and bloodlust to be the best that I find on my home server. So, combine a feeling of being completely and ridiculously overpowered and nigh-unstoppable in most normal settings with a group of people who don’t seem to view the game in the same way that I do, and it just be time for me to say goodbye to my DoK and Destro for good.

Maybe it’s just the Gorfang community. It’s full of rancor, and smack-talk, and spite-filled back and forth on the forums, but it really is a LOT of fun. I really like playing there. I love to compete against the guild on the server. If my guild was ever to decide that we were going roll destro on our server, I would do it in a heartbeat. We’ve had some idle chatter about it the last two weeks, and I’ve routinely expressed my support for this idea. I have my second account with a Blackguard (I leveled one to 40 while the bulk of my guild was on hiatus a handful of months ago), ready and waiting to be reactivated for just such a occassion.

There are a few things that would get me to swap over to that account full-time without my guild though. Both my Knight and my SW being at RR80, wearing full sovereign and scenario weapons would be a start. The other incentives would be if my guild continues its current growth. We’ve taken on a LOT of new players lately. I’m not saying their bad, in fact the opposite, most are pretty damn good, but it’s happened VERY quickly (perceivably) and we haven’t really had a settling-in time. A lot of these players haven’t had time to mesh with our play style or find how they fit in as a whole, and it’s put a bit of a rock in my boat so to speak and I just have to get my sea-legs (3 cheers for extended metaphors!). Lastly, there would need to be no news of improving the SW beyond its current state, or even worse, a proclamation that Mythic is mostly happy with the balance of the class compared to the other RDPS careers in its current state. I think any two of those combined would force me off my Order account. All three would push me out for sure.

Bleh, this is all pretty depressing and QQ’ish, which I don’t want, but I do have concerns.